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Monthly Archives: November 2012

Autumn is like a warm blanket

Autumn has always been my favorite time of year, comforting and familiar, like a warm blanket to curl up in and wrap around me.

As a child growing up in Iowa, I remember crisp, cool temperatures that swept away summer’s heat, field
s of golden corn ready to harvest and the sound of laughter from under a pile of red and yellow and purple leaves. I remember football games, Homecoming dances and mum corsages…pumpkins, corn shocks, hay bales and scarecrows. I remember Halloween, trick or treating and sorting through the haul of candy with a friend. I remember Thanksgiving dinner, the smell of turkey and pumpkin pie and gathering around the piano to sing as my mom played. Sweet memories that linger through the years.

With every season come changes…around us and within us. The days of autumn are gentle and pensive … brilliant and spectacular! They allow us to recall familiar melodies while giving us the opportunity to dance to songs yet unwritten.

~C L Gillmore, 2012~

My Old Shoes

Thanks for all the sweet birthday wishes from all my “old shoes!” Love you all!

My Old Shoes

There’s just something wonderful about a brand new pair of shoes,
Wrapped in that rich scent of leather, burnished and smooth,
They’re fashionable and trendy with a fit snug and tight.
As I walk, others notice and I smile in confident delight.
Ah, life is good, endlessly stretched out before me…
I’m really something, me and my new shoes.

But time passes and a parade of shoes have shuffled in and out my door.
Some stayed, some went and still others lie forgotten on my closet floor.
And those who have walked full circle with me are only a precious few.
Comfortable, broken and mended…well past their days of looking new.

They have carried and comforted me along the dusty roads.
Danced, paced, ran and stumbled beneath life’s heavy loads.
Their worn, faded leather absorbed the cold sweat of my fears
As joys and sorrows, hopes and dreams unfolded through the years.

One day soon these old shoes and I will rest quietly, cold and still.
No more to dance, to dare, to dream, or remember the wintery chill
From those who never really knew how cautiously I’d stepped
Through the sullen shadows of my youth to a life so carefully kept.
With new shoes for the passing things, good for walks in sunshine.
But always my old shoes to stay the end course…steady, true and fine.

~from OF ROOTS, SHOES and RHYMES by CL GIllmore 2010~

A closed door has opened…

“Defying time and explanation, a closed door has opened
To the past, the present, the future where dreams have the chance to mend.
Dreams that help the heart to heal and allow a soul to soar
By allowing time to temper, to bend and grant us hope again.
How could we not have noticed these wondrous days before?”

~poem excerpt from “Wondrous Days” by C L Gillmore~

Sunlight slowly seeped through the drawn shades

Excerpt from “A Friend Request,” sequel novel to Uncommon Bond by C L Gillmore

“The grays of early morning were beginning to fade as sunlight slowly seeped through the drawn shades of the upstairs bedroom windows and edged across the narrow dark oak flooring.

I turned to my side, propped up an elbow and rested my head against my hand… and watched her sleep.She lay on her back, nestled in a soft pile of quilts and sheets and feather pillows across the big brass bed. The same brass bed I kissed her and tucked her in one cold winter night long ago.She was beautiful then. She was beautiful now.I gently reached for her, drawing her sweet, soft body next to mine. She snuggled against me—head resting on my chest—her arm and leg draped over me like a warm, sensuous blanket. Skin against skin.She’d reached for me in the night in much the same way—wanting the closeness—needing the reassurance that I was there next to her.

The music, the words played in my head, my memory…

Lay, lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed.
Stay, lady, stay, stay while the night is still ahead.
I long to see you in the morning light…
I long to reach for you in the night.
Stay, lady, stay, stay while the night is still ahead.
(Bob Dylan, Lay Lady Lay 1969)

As a young man, I remembered making love to her all night, over and over. Just the thought back then—kissing her, touching her, being inside her—made me ache from wanting. Made me hard from needing.

Now making love was different for both of us—deliberate, measured, unhurried—yet no less intense. Our bodies, our minds were at a different place, not just older, but more experienced with everything of life.

Gone was the urgency to cross an imaginary finish line or to hurry toward a self-imposed completion. Instead each touch, kiss, caress and embrace became a meandering side road to explore and savor before moving on.

Who would have thought this back then? Who would have thought love adjusts to every season?

Mom’s red formica table.

Excerpt from “A Friend Request” sequel novel to “Uncommon Bond” by C L Gillmore

Rose remembers…

I sat at Mom’s red Formica table, munched my doughnuts and sipped the chocolate milk as “In My Life” from the Beatles’ Rubber Soul album played in the background. I thought about the words.

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them

In my life, I’ve loved them all.

I ran my hand over the smooth tabletop and remembered all the Saturday mornings as a child that started out exactly this same way…with my mom sitting across the table from me sipping a cup of coffee. She wouldn’t let me drink coffee but she would let me dunk my doughnut in her cup. I can still smell the coffee, taste the coffee soaked doughnut.

It’s interesting the selective things one remembers from childhood.

Only words to keep us close

 

I always hated those hasty exits from the chat and would type as many things as fast as I could before he went offline.  It was difficult having only words to keep us close.  I knew when he signed off that he went back to his busy life with his teenagers.  I was not a part of his real life and knew I could never be a part of it.

 

Excerpt from “Uncommon Bond” a novel by CL Gillmore

www.clgillmore.com

It was mind-blowing, life changing and beautiful

You rocked me once in innocence with young, trembling hands,
And gave me a reason to trust again by making no demands.
Now let me sink slowly under your soul… warm, close and tight.
Hold me within your arms through this long, wondrous night.

texting and chatting intimacies

Our most intimate thoughts

Every word we ever read or thought about privately came floating onto our chat screen or phone texts.  And the words were often sexually charged and explicit but always interwoven with simple words of love and reassurance on both our parts.  It was mind-blowing, life changing and it was lovely and beautiful at the same time.  But we both knew at some point in this exchange of intimacies over the course of our relationship, something had to give.

Excerpt from “Uncommon Bond” a novel by CL Gillmore
www.clgillmore.com

Both glasses were filled to the brim with memories

grape jelly glasses

Filled with memories

Excerpt from the novel “A Friend Request” by C L Gillmore

“I loved the galley kitchen in our new apartment. It was small and convenient. Perfect for Karen and me.

I opened and closed the refrigerator door, looked inside the dishwasher, ra

n my hand over the top of the electric stove, then turned the water on and tried the spray attachment. Cool.

Next I opened the wooden cabinet door above the sink. There on the bottom shelf was my Grandpa and Grandma Allison’s Howdy Doody glasses I unpacked earlier this morning…a pink one and a yellow one.

Once they were filled with Welch’s grape jelly. Now I filled them regularly with chocolate milk and dunked my donuts in them each Saturday morning. The glasses made me happy and brought a smile to my face no matter how difficult the day might be.

Of all the things left me, those two glasses were the most precious.

I took the pink glass carefully from the shelf and held it in my hand, inspected it. Printed in white around the top was a musical staff and notes with the words, ‘HEY KIDS! DING DONG DELL! RING FOR WELCH’S YOU’LL LIKE IT SWELL.’ Printed in pink around the middle part of the glass was a train filled with characters—Howdy Doody, Clarabell and Princess Summerfall Winterspring—smiling and riding happily along.

Both glasses were filled to the brim with memories—of my grandpa and grandma, my dad, my mom—of my childhood.”